As children, we test our parents every fiber of calm. Despite the hours of devotion and care, every child has looked into the eyes of their parent and boldly pronounced, "That's not fair". In those moments the exhausted Mom surely must have super human strength to not loose her cool. My mom lost her cool a time or two. I've lost my cool a time or two with my kids too. Still the hours of maternal nurture greatly out weighs the shortcomings.
I watched today as my aging mother allowed me to nurture her. At mealtime, I helped her put toppings on her salad and patiently waited as she decided on her choices. Her hands have weakened and her vision is poor. I watched with love as the greeting card was read to her, as she struggles to make out the words. Yet, that gentle mother spirit is stronger than ever. Her grace and tender heart is smooth. Her smile is filled with love and compassion. Despite the pain and sorrow that my siblings and I inflicted on her heart over the years. She brags of our good moments and forgives us just the same.
For those moments when she lost her cool, I remember them. I see the snot nosed kid standing with selfish wants and inconsiderate demands and blush in embarrassment for being that snot nosed kid.
The memory of my motherhood and the moments I lost my cool, I see the silly whims of a child who was only trying to get through the pains of growing. I forgive myself for being both. The aggravator and the aggravated.
I watched today as my children, the adult children and the still in the growing pain stages, care for me. A poem was read for me. Not because my eyes were too weary to read. But, because her heart was filled with love for me. Heavy objects were carried for me. Not because my body is failing me but, because he is kind and helpful. Hugs were given, tighter and more sincere than ever.
The joys are easy to live with. Mom's are all too happy to point out their successful traits and polished qualities. We do gain strength and depth when we examine our shortcomings and acknowledge those moments of sorrow. Just for a minute. Then, proceed with proud proclamation "My kids are the best kids and I am a perfect parent"
I love my Mom. I love my children. Happy Mother's Day friends!